Weird things you just get if you own a dog


1. Being offended when they won’t snuggle with you

No one likes the feeling of rejection. Somehow, it’s worse if it’s from an animal you care for and love. Dogs are precious, so of course they are going to be snuggled, it’s their fate. Dogs frequently defy their fate by walking away at a human’s attempt to cuddle them. How dare dogs reject my affection? Maybe they don’t like the invasion of personal space, but dogs don’t seem to have boundaries on other areas. 

2. Encouraging dogs to come to the bathroom with you

Don’t judge, it’s more common than you think! Dogs have no concept of what is and isn’t appropriate. They poop in public and they don’t care who sees. If my dogs want to follow me into the bathroom, I let them. Something about closing the door in a dog’s face is quite upsetting. This is probably why many dog owners don’t care about privacy on other areas if life with their dogs. 

3. Being totally unfazed when your dog sees you naked

Dogs don’t have a concept of indecency, so having your dog watch you change is no big deal. They never wear clothes, why should it matter if another species does the same? Dogs can’t talk, so it’s not like they can point out any of your insecurities or say anything else that may make their owners disrobing awkward. However, I draw the line at dogs trying to sniff my genitals while I’m changing, and god forbid humping in the same instance. Luckily the latter has not happened and frankly both actions are poor behavior. Even though dogs can drive you crazy occasionally, losing them would still be devastating.

4. Fearing that you lost your dog if they’re not in your field of vision

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been relaxing in my room and have had the peace interrupted by my dad calling me out of my room to ask where the dog is. The dog is usually either in the backyard or in the living room. He is almost never out of the house, although it has happened, so you can’t blame us for being paranoid. What makes it even worse is if you have a small dog that can fit through and under gates. My family is obsessed with the dogs, and we don’t want to lose them. 

5. Judging people based on how they react to your dog

You can tell a lot about a person by how they interact with pets. This is why I pass so much judgement based on people’s reactions to my dogs. If someone is annoyed by my dog, I’m annoyed by their existence. How could someone not love my giant Lab? If someone ignores him, I assume I could never date the ignorer or even be friends. If someone pets my dog upon greeting him, I have an immediate trust for them. If someone let my dog jump on them, I hope that they stay in my life for a very long time.