Corny (but amazing) Dog Jokes

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Everyone loves dogs and who doesn’t love to laugh? Dogs do hilarious things (ex. Chase their tails, sniff people in inappropriate places, hump random things and people), which is of course a source of humor, which naturally results in jokes.

From Reader’s Digest

What do dogs do after they finish obedience school? They get their masters.

From The American Kennel Club

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking and I saw a little boy staring in at me. “Is that a dog you got back there?” he asked. “It sure is,” I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then toward the back of the van. Finally he said, “What’d he do?”

From Danielle the Intern Writing This Piece

*Lifts Grandma’s poodle* This is how I pick up bitches.

From Barkpost

Why did the poor dog chase his tail?  He was trying to make both ends meet.

From The Smart Canine

A Corgi walks into a bar and asks for a drink.

“No problem. One water coming up, it’ll be $1.” replied the bartender. 

The corgi looks confused and says, “sorry, but I can’t afford that.”

The Bartender asks, “What kind of corgi doesn’t have a single dollar?”

The corgi replies, “A PemBROKE corgi.”

From Upjoke

What do you get when a pomeranian looks at Medusa? You get a pomegranite.

From Danielle the Intern Writing This Piece

What do you call a Pomeranian who had a litter? A Mom-eranian.

Thought Catalog

It’s raining cats and dogs. That’s fine, as long as it doesn’t reindeer.

From Funnyshortjokes.com

Just named my dog ‘Tenmiles’ so now I can say I walk ten miles every day.

From Mr.Kaku

Where do dogs go when their tails fall off? The re-tail store.

From This Quiet Dog

I was hoping to see lots of animals at the zoo, but they only had one small dog. It was a shih-tzu.

From The Online Zoo

How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster? Terrier-fied.

From Beano

Q: What’s the difference between a tree and a moose? 

A: I don’t know?

No wonder you’re failing biology!

From TreatsHappen

I was resting my feet on our dog when my wife said that he looks defeated. I took lifted my feet up and said, now he is defeated. 

From Quick Funny Jokes

What is a dog’s favorite city? New Yorkie! 

From Pug City

What kind of dog does a mad scientist have? A Laboratory Retriever!

From JokoJokes

I get really embarrassed when female guests visit my house and my dog sniffs their crotch.

Ok, he’s a chihuahua and I have to lift him up, but it’s still embarrassing.

From Care.com

What’s a dog’s favorite dessert? Pupcakes!

From Parade

What does the dog eat at the movies? Pupcorn!

Do you guys have any dog jokes we didn’t mention? Tell us in the comments. #bullyfambam @bullyfambam